The funnier side of Althist world: episode 2.5!

My idea!
This is supposed to be a comedic TL taking the rise out of some of the more daft TLs I've seen out there (including some on the more 'plausible' counterpart to this wiki). I congregated some map games, added some spice in the gaps and dropped one or two gags in the 1990's at the other wiki's exspence, with a turn whit.

SPQR or QED? FLINT! Nuclar Ned rules OK?! It's a grogan and Rogan?! It's all pure ASB!!!

Backstory
Don't snort drugs fit of piqué before you read, it's a spoof T.L.! Napoleon’s dreams lay in ruins under the U.K. and Prussia (Germany), oh yeah! Watch it Mr Hitler, a dude has a chair leg with your name on it, sir!

Napoleon decided not to to invade Russia and focused on eliminating the British threat. After invading Portugal - whose royalty fled to Brazil -, and starting a spectacular naval program, Napoleon took control of the English Channel for 22 days, and invaded England, taking Hastings, Rigate, Ventnor   and Dover by storm, and Great Britain nearly surrendered. In the Americas, many areas in New Spain were sold to the United States due to major financial problems, and in 1811, America is assaulted by French armed natives. Nepeolion was stopped, but it was even closer cut than in reality. The Confederacy and Comanchira had help from [E.T.'s older brother] and won the civil war!

1815
The Coalition collapses due to conspiracy and resentment between the members, and soon France has occupied most of western Europe except for Prussia which it has wanted as an     official trading and military partner, and Prussia is allowed to annex the German city- states and form the German Empire, which quickly signs a trading and military treaty with France. In America, which had sided with the Coalition, anarchy is near control due to the Coalitions defeat, making French hatred of the United States grow hugely and due to Canada being French as well as British Colombia and Vancouver bordering the USA along its entire northern border. The Chinese Empiorer is temporaly ill with a bunion after visting Shanghai for 2 weeks.

1915.5
[E.T.'s smarter brother] sees all this and becomes angry, so he gives some titanium-steel compounds to the metallurgists and shaymen of the Sioux, Mayans, Swiss, Chinese, Japanese, Dutch, Czechs, Poles, Slovaks, the Mogul Empire, Persia, Ottomans, USA, British, Spanish  and Portuguese to maintain world stability. He gives a small supply of plastic explosives to the Dutch, Czechs, Poles, Slovaks, the Mogul Empire and Persia.

1816.0
The USA: Expansion and settling westward is greatly encouraged by the defeated American government, and the Indians are dealt with less humanely than even the worse timelines, being wiped out of the United States or herded onto small reservations.

1824.5
Russian held parts of Poland and the provinces of Bohemia and Moravia kick out there colonial masters after heavy war fair using the alien gifts to aid them.

1825
The UK, Russia, the USA, Chile, Persia, Japan, Libya and France have a literacy campaign. The Comanche, Apache, Seminoles, Navajo, Mohicans, Sioux and Pueblo rebel in their lands a massacre the settlers at the head waters of the Missouri, Kansas, the Cimarron River, and upper Arkansas River east of the high Rockies. Later they kill a few more at the Mescalero Escarpment, the Pecos River and lower Arkansas Rivers; setting up the land of Comancheria in it’s wake.

1825.5
Austro-Hingary, Romania, Serbia, Uragauy, Argentina, Monti Negro, Persia, Tunisia and Brazil Have literacy campaings. France stops arming rebels in Cmancheria, but arms rebels in Quebec. Zululand, Transvaal, Orange Free State, Basotholand and Burma all singe a non agression pact with the Portugese, Dutch, Peru, Brunie and Hydrabad.

1861
The Confederacy sees initial victory turn to stalemate and faluier. The USA, UK, CSA, France, Japan, Prussia, Russia, China and the Ottomans each launch major literacy campaigns. ET's older brother is spaceship wrecked in Waco, Texas, and joins the failing  Confederates as a scientist. Afghanistan, Infal, Hydrabad, Rajistan, Kashmire, Nepal and Bhutan unite to stave of the British.

1863
British, French and Mexican aid in the Revolution after Erie and Springfield fell to Confederate troops in 1863 after a succesful invasion of Maryland in which Gettysburg never happened. The Confederacy had much help from [E.T.'s older brother] and won the civil war!

1864.6
Et's older brother left in the Winter of 1864, just after the South won its war for independence.

1875
In 1875; the CSA gains all of the New Mexico, Arizona, and Indian Territories as well as all of California south of the Indian Territories northern border which will split California into Confederate South California and American North California, Kentucky, West Virginia, Washington DC, and Maryland due to British, French and Mexican aid in the Revolution after Erie and Springfield fell to Confederate troops in 1863 after a successful invasion of Maryland in which Gettysburg never happened.

1876.0

 * The CSA: North Baja, South Baja, Chihuahua, and Sonora join the Confederacy, giving it 22 states. The armed forces and navy continue to be modernized and equipped with the latest weapons, mostly the Jeff Davis Repeating Rifle and the Heavier Jeff Davis Artillery and Cannon. The Transcontinental Railroad and Telegraph lines are completed.

1870

 * In 1870, Mexico sold the states of Sonora, Chihuahua, and all of the Yucatan, and both of the Baja California's, which were renamed North Baja and South Baja to the CSA.

1876

 * Maryland has a heavy wheat and potato harvest.
 * E.T.'s older brother causes the first of many 'Hyper-earthquakes' and leaves Earth for ever (thank god for that!)!
 * Venezuela is hit by a once in a lifetime 7.6 magnitude earthquake in the Amazonas region. A tsunami alerts is given and a 12cm wave hits Panamá, Cuba, The Cayman Islands, Colombia, Haiti, The Dominican Republic, Netherlands Antilles and Barbados. The next day earthquake of 6.4 magnitude earthquake hits Caracas, which is badly damaged, causing widespread panic. A 5.6 magnitude aftershock hits Amazonas region two days later. All in all ten are dead and hundreds are wounded and homeless.


 * Story continues in- The funnier side of Althist world: Part 2!.